My Suspicions

“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.”–1 John 1: 5-7

Lord, Your Word tells us You ARE the light and that in You there is no darkness AT ALL.  I want to be in the light God, yet…

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You

I don’t know why, but for some reason (despite my knowledge of the truth), I can’t help but try to do this life without your help.  I know You want me to spend time with You in prayer and in Your Word, but frankly, I think I know all I need to know about You and am more than capable of carrying out “Your will” by myself. Thanks though…

I am the king of excuses
I’ve got one for every selfish thing I do 

I don’t know why, but for some reason (despite my knowledge of the truth), I continue to mess up time and time again.  I blame You God for You haven’t given me what I need.  I know I don’t spend the time with You I should, but like I said before, I know enough about You to understand what You want from me.  Yet, You continue to throw obstacles my way that only trip me up!  What do You expect from me God?  I’m only human–I’m going to mess up!  My sin really isn’t that bad…

What’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior

I don’t know why, but for some reason (despite my knowledge of the truth), I’ve come to realize that I continue to walk away from You God.  You tell me that You are light and in You there is no darkness AT ALL, yet I continue to be drawn into darkness.  I don’t understand why I do this Lord, but when I step back and look at my life, I can’t help but despise my own behavior…

This only serves to confirm my suspicions…


I’m still a man in need of a Savior.


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